Are You an Approval Addict? ; Many People Will Admit to a Degree of Approval-Seeking, but for Some It's the Only Thing That Counts - and Often at Great Cost to Their Happiness and Relationships

Summary

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The gravity of my condition hit me three weeks ago. The big issue was, 'Do I or don't I cut my hair?' While world governments debated the withdrawal of troops from Iraq, I was running my own Ipsos MORI poll across Europe. As soon as I was ready to take one friend's advice (which I then rubbished on the basis that she would, of course, prefer me to be less attractive and hence choose the option that makes me look ugliest), I would change my mind again. Thirty people later, I was no closer to solving the dilemma that is my hair (the stylist's opinion was also ignored given that, the more he cuts, the more he charges).

Behind this shallow appearance-obsessed concern lies a much deeper problem: ie, that everyone else's opinion mattered more than mine. My hair was symptomatic of something more sinister the need to be approved of at all times. Examine that lifelong pattern closely, and you realise you are in the disturbing world of addiction.

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Are You an Approval Addict? ; Many People Will Admit to a Degree of Approval-Seeking, but for Some It's the Only Thing That Counts - and Often at Great Cost to Their Happiness and Relationships

This is a very real problem that causes a great number of people, and women in particular, a great deal of suffering. Like drug addicts, approval addicts enjoy an instant high when they get what they want in their case, when told they are beautiful, wonderful, smart, charming or have done a good job. A healthy person gets a bit of a lift (who wouldn't?) from a compliment, but for t...

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