The Magic of Christmas? Bah, Humbug ; Finding the Right Nativity Set, Buying Turkeys, Queuing for Stamps; 'Tis the Season. And Don't You Just Love It! [Eire Region]

Summary

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Being Super Mums, we are the Creators of Christmas. Everything from presents, cards, food, and clothing is on our to-do list. This is no accident of fate. Way back in the day when God made Adam and Eve, there was a gap left in the sultry nymphomaniac's brain, in the hippocampus, no less, where the flair for spatial awareness exists. And as He had not yet invented cars that might need to be parallel parked, God allowed it to become the storage area of Christmas lists for womankind.

This split in the brain function between the sexes has united men and women ever since because while you are acutely aware of what needs to be bought, and where, you may need your other half to bring you there and park the car on a sixpence. Just don't expect him to actually get out of the car. However, you should be eternally grateful for his spatial superiority, as he is of your ability to know exactly what crotchety old Aunt Bernie wants to find in her stocking other than varicose veins. Which brings us to the Rules of Engagement, and how much leeway we have on the levels of force we are allowed to apply to ensure a perfect Christmas, as determined by NATO.

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The Magic of Christmas? Bah, Humbug ; Finding the Right Nativity Set, Buying Turkeys, Queuing for Stamps; 'Tis the Season. And Don't You Just Love It! [Eire Region]

Naturally, Level Five, where you are allowed to use deadly force because your husband has considered waiting an hour to buy stamps a ridiculous waste of time when you can text your holiday greetings, is, perhaps, a last resort. But Levels One to Three offer enough options, including verbal commands and pain compliance through joint manipulatio...

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