My Name Is Dylan and I Can't Park ; Touring the South of France in a Luxury Motor Is One Thing; Parking the Beast Is Quite Another...

Summary

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Vladimir was looking confused. Very confused. He was attempting to moor his boat in his Banyuls-sur-Mer berth and wasn't convinced there was enough space between the boats on either side. And he was right. Now, Vladimir has one of the sexiest boats in the harbour, a charcoal grey RIB (that's a rigid inflatable boat to the uninitiated), that looks like it came straight from a James Bond movie (not only that, it's called Honey Rider, the Bond girl played by Ursula Andress in Dr No). It also has a fairly awesome state-of- the-art sound system, which Vlad regularly uses to blast out the Clash or Hed Kandi loungecore at full volume (something which has obviously endeared him tremendously to his fellow boat owners in this part of France).

Vlad is understandably proud of his RIB, and consequently goes out of his way not to steer it into other boats. However, on this occasion his ambitions were somewhat thwarted, seeing that he had managed to steer Honey into the old wreck parked immediately next to it. Luckily the partially attired owner of said wreck didn't seem too bothered. But then maybe he was flattered by being rammed by a boat of obvious superiority (or maybe by being rammed by someone wearing a batterypowered neoprene turtleneck wetsuit and plastic shoes that look like feet).

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My Name Is Dylan and I Can't Park ; Touring the South of France in a Luxury Motor Is One Thing; Parking the Beast Is Quite Another...

The next day, I had a small crash of my own, as I was driving my very wonderful silver Mercedes S320 CDI through the local car park. I was test-driving the car, and having driven all the way from Gerona ...

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