Season of Sharing? Doesn't Extend to the Toy Catalogue! ; Kitchen Sink Drama [Eire Region]

Summary

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If I could pass on a single nugget of advice on child-rearing for prospective parents, it would be this: always have as many Smyths catalogues as you have children. I can't quite remember who gave this precious wisdom to me -- bizarrely, it might have been Craig Doyle -- but I know it was handed on with the same solemnity with which older people might treat the Third Secret of Fatima. In fact, it may well be the Third Secret of Fatima. It'd certainly explain why no Pope has ever been spotted in Smyths.

Ours is a happier house at Christmas for having learnt the secret; but for years, we struggled manfully all through the winter months on just a single catalogue. It was hell on Earth, of course. The fights would begin verbally, escalate into physical tussles over the catalogue and then descend into brute violence after one of the participants tore the page that the other was looking at. For years, we had several of these incidents every day. Yet it never occurred to me that all this strife could be averted by simply getting another catalogue. Maybe it was a Catholic thing; maybe it was just a misplaced frugality. But in my mind, taking more than one free catalogue was up there with running the boiler while you weren't home.

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Season of Sharing? Doesn't Extend to the Toy Catalogue! ; Kitchen Sink Drama [Eire Region]

And yet, when I tried it, it brought an instant peace that has more or less prevailed ever since. And even though The Small Girl scarcely glances at her p...

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