Soap Watch ; Jaci Stephen's Ultimate Insight Into the Week's Soaps [Eire Region]

Summary

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Autumn is the inescapable season of judges and judging - so if soap characters were rated on The X Factor meets Strictly Come Dancing meets The Apprentice meets MasterChef scale, let's go over for some soap appraisals.

Obviously every soap 'contestant' wants to 'go all the way'; to show the judges that 'they've got what it takes', and 'just how much this soap means' to them. First up a scene this week from EastEnders, as Kat yanked out one of Roxy's nylon extensions in the first of undoubtedly many cat fights at the 'new' Vic. Louis Walsh in cliched repetition says: 'Kat, you deserve to be here, you nailed that scene, hey - you've made this soap your own.'

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Soap Watch ; Jaci Stephen's Ultimate Insight Into the Week's Soaps [Eire Region]

Simon Cowell concurs: 'This soap needs someone like you,' while a doe-eyed Cheryl adds: 'You're what this soap is all about.'

Next up a tour-de-force from Coronation Street's Sally Webster in a typical Rovers Return scenario, discussing daughter Sophie's ongoing 16th birthday party: 'I don't think again Christians are gonna go nicking me tufted shag, Gail.'

Alesha opines: 'You're a ...

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