Why It's Hard to Be Upbeat Down Under ; the Way I See It... [Eire Region]

Summary

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the new laws on the display of cigarettes in vending machines, newsagents' shops and grocery stores -- or, to be more accurate, the new laws on non-display, since cigarettes are now hidden in vaults - - are entirely counter-productive. There's something about the monolith of a door that now fills the space between packets of batteries and razors on one side, and Lemsip and condoms on the other, that compels you to focus on it to the exclusion of all else. It's as visually arresting as a bad toupee or a mother breast- feeding in public; you're a mature adult and you know you shouldn't stare, but your eyes have other ideas, and burst like Tony's in Coronation Street to get a better look.

The cigarette display rule is just the latest example of the road to ruin on which we have embarked. Everywhere you look, more and more evidence of prohibition springs up daily -- the smoking ban, the ban on public drinking in Dublin, the ban on happy hours, two penalty points for driving a yellow car, you know the sort of thing. It's a worrying trend because if we're not careful, we're going to turn into Australia -- and you wouldn't want that, believe me. I've been there every year for the past four and it never ceases to amaze me how this allegedly macho culture surrendered so easily to being nannied -- if I woke up tomorrow to find out that Mary Poppins had replaced Kevin Rudd as the prime minister, I couldn't be less surprised.

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Why It's Hard to Be Upbeat Down Under ; the Way I See It... [Eire Region]

Oz is a head-wrecker. Everywhere you go, I mean literally everywhere, someone has thought up all the ways you might choose to have fun and then put a sign up to tell you why you shouldn't. Last week, t...

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